It’s amazing how quickly things can change. I’ve gone from feeling on top of the world, like Fergs and I were finally on our way to where we want to be, to questioning the basic premises of what I’m doing. Questioning if what I thought was progress actually is. Questioning whether he is physically capable of ending up where I want him to. Questioning whether it’s fair to ask. Questioning whether I can…
Except that he’s my horse and I’ll bloody well do what I want with him. Unless he can’t do it. Even if I know he can. But what do I know? Circular logic…
Basically, I now have a whole new level of paranoia to deal with – and when you have issues with that in first place, you don’t need it thrust on you from outside too. Sometimes it’s better not to solicit external opinions. It’s surprising how quick people can offer an opinion if they think you’re not listening and they can get a little dig in while you’re down – but when you actually want them to clarify, elaborate, extend their comments, they go suspiciously quiet. Would it be childish to suggest that the novelty’s gone when you don’t react? I feel like I can do nothing right.
So I walk away, I think. But where does that leave me?
Confused, I think.
The life and opinions of the Hot blooded Highlands 